I have been thinking about how I would like to start regularly keeping a blog. Not for myself, but for Stella. To remember the funny and maybe not so funny things she does or will do. To remember every precious smile, giggle, cry, every mommy or daddy she will ever say, to remember basically every little thing I am so scared I will eventually forget. What better place to start than the beginning of her life? So, here we are.
I think I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy, that is up until the very end. The doctors were pretty sure Stella would be a big baby like Dalton so we did lots of growth scans to check on her size. At one of my last appointments they were concerned that my fluid levels were low, but not low enough to deliver. That Sunday I thought my water had broken and went to the hospital. They ran some tests and determined that it wasn't my water at all, or so they said. The following week I continued "leaking" up until my last Dr's appointment on Friday June 29th. I went to the hospital for my ultrasound and went to the Dr's office but my Dr wasn't in. I told the nurse practitioner I wanted to wait till she got in. I was pretty sure they were wrong about my water. Dr. Samuel's came in and said we would induce on Monday unless of course I started leaking between then, or I went into labor, or started bleeding. I told her all about the "false alarm" and the continuous leaking and she looked concerned. Without even skipping a beat she said, " Change of plans, we're having a baby today." I was so excited that I would finally get to meet the sweet baby who had been growing inside of me for the last nine months. They immediately sent Dalton and I over to the hospital, luckily we had brought the hospital bags with us. My Dr said, "We are just going to tell them your water broke."
They hooked me up to all the monitors and started the pitocin by about 10:30. We had been up since about 5am since our ultrasound appt was at 6am and I hadn't eaten so I was pretty hungry. The on call Dr came and checked for my water bag to break it in case it hadn't ruptured completely, remember they told me earlier in the week that it wasn't my water that had broken. Well, lo and behold, she wasn't able to find a bag period, and when she poked me with the little dilly bobber that breaks your water nothing came out! This leads me to believe that my water had indeed broken and they made a mistake. Scary when you think about it because going more than 24 hours with your bag ruptured can lead to infection. Thank the Lord that nothing like that happened. . I was determined to have her naturally, but unfortunately the pitocin made that impossible. By that afternoon I was in so much pain I ended up getting the epidural. I knew that having her naturally while being induced would be tough.. but I didn't realize that I was tensing up so badly I wasn't allowing my body to progress. They called the anesthesiologist to come give me the epidural. That was the longest wait of my life. Dalton had to leave the room while they did it and we were both in tears when he left. I was so worried I would disappoint him if I didn't have her naturally. He told me later he wishes we would have discussed it because he didn't want me to be in pain, he had no idea I was holding out because of him. So, I get the epidural and Dalton heads out to get something to eat. My nurse was the sweetest thing. I can't remember her name now, and she was already off by the time Stella was born, but she truly made the experience pleasant. I asked her when they were going to check me again and she said in about an hour to an hour and a half. She told me, when we check you, you are going to be at an 8-9, we are putting it out there so that's what it will be. At close to 8 she checked me and she started smiling, "Guess what?" I couldn't believe it. I was 8-9cm's. Time to get ready to push! We called Dalton and told him to start heading back.
The one thing people don't tell you about when you are pushing is how dizzy you get. You have to take a deep breath in before you start pushing, and when your contractions are coming so close together you don't really have time to take another one before its time to push again. I had to stop a few times because I was lightheaded. I then realized the quicker I got through this the sooner it would be over with, and the sooner Stella would be in my arms. From then on, every time my nurse asked if I needed to take a breather I said no. She kept telling me how great I was doing, and I asked her if I really was because I obviously couldn't feel anything. Within an hour they called the Dr in, and a whole slew of people came in the room. Since I was donating the cord blood someone came in for that. I had my nurse, plus about 4-5 other nurses that came in to take care of Stella when she was born, plus the Dr, and the anesthesiologist came in too. Everything from there on was a blur. According to Dalton I pushed 4 times and out she came. I remember them telling me to look down, and I remember debating with myself whether I wanted to see. I remember saying to myself, look down! LOL Out she came, this beautiful baby, that they put on my tummy for just a brief moment before they took her to clean her up and swaddle her. I remember that I thought how come I didn't cry? Honestly I think it was all such a blur that I didn't have time to. She cried just a brief cry and instantly started looking around to see what all the excitement was. Stella Zoe Riley, born 6/29, 8lbs, 20 1/4 inches long.
I only got to spend an hour with her before they took her to the nursery to bathe her and check her all out. That was the fastest hour of my life!
They got me all ready and prepped to wheel me up to my permanent room.
We even snuck in a quick picture before we left the room. This is our first picture as parents.
I
cannot express enough what giving birth to your first child feels like. Aside from all the pain, it is understandably the most exhilarating moment in your life. Add to that, sharing that moment with your best friend. Shortly after I had Stella I posted this status on my FB. "Nothing like giving birth to a child to reaffirm your love for someone....love you Dalton! Stella and I are the luckiest girls in the world!"
In those first days, and weeks after giving birth I truly fell in love all over again. In love with my daughter, but also in love with my husband. He saw me at my weakest most vulnerable moments, and with every ounce of love in him, supported me and showed me what the true meaning of love is. I wouldn't change anything in the world because, in the end, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, that was both made in love, and brought into this world enveloped in the most pure love imaginable. All my fears of being a parent were totally washed away when I saw my husband hold his daughter.
 |
| First car ride home |
Everyone tells you how your life is going to change after you have a child. Honestly, I don't feel like a different person. I still feel like me, maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. What I do feel though, is the most joyous feeling when I see that little face of hers. When I see her growing and changing every day it reminds me that every day is a gift from God, and that the love of a mother for her child is truly the greatest gift of all.
No comments:
Post a Comment